Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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