bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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