omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
