Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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