I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
