i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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