Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
