There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
