apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
