nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
