Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize