singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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