I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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