She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
