Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
