No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
