Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
