He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
