i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
