(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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