This is not my ceiling
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
