You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
