drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
