So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
