just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
