Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
