Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
