Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
