You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Terrible idea I love it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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