they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize