Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
you never un-have a 4some
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
