Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize