Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize