If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He kissed a someone with a penis
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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