My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
