If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
