Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
