Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
