So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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