i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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