Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
