It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
