I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
