I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
its liver damage thursday
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
