did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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