SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
