Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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