8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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