I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why did my mother make you get naked?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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