I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
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I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
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I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.