I'm going to jail i love you
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...