What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for