a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
