I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
