so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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