Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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