Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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