what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
